Skip to main content

A Peak into My Artistic Angst

So much for posting every day, for doing a daily composition. I am moving forward but being kind to myself when my progress is slow. When I wasn't working on my compositions because I was—once again—discouraged, I spent several hours loading my photos from my new camera into the classic version of Lightroom. I had been using the cloud version, was frustrated, and my husband had determined that the desktop version would suit both our purposes better.

So I had a chance to revisit my 500+ photos from our trip to Arches National Park over Christmas. I also applied the "auto" filter to many of the photos, and poof, like magic, the photos were taken from good to amazing. I have some really good photos in the bunch!

It got me to thinking, why aren't I satisfied with the photos as a means of artistic expression? Why do I want to paint from them? What can I not express by printing/sharing the photos that I want to express via painting? And furthermore, what do I want to express? And if I'm so desperate to express something, what is the best way to do that? I could write, which comes easily to me; poetry? I could quilt although I've never made that type of art quilt. And I could draw, paint, collage or some permutation of any or all of these. And even after thinking through all of that, to whom do I want/need to express this or anything for that matter? Herein lies my existential art existence/crisis.

Five days have passed from what was written above, and while journaling this morning, I feel like I have the beginnings of an answer for myself. (I did a little painting in those five days, which I'll post soon.)

The reason for me to paint is that it's my chosen way to express thoughts and feelings when I haven't been able to do so with easier-for-me modes of communication. This leads to two things: 1) I need to figure out my feelings and what I want to communicate, and then 2) I need to figure out the right media to best express what I want to say about my subject. Which frees me to play with whatever media I want, not forcing myself to pick only one to try to master. And it also frees me to consider myself an artist who works in various media. Yes, there's a watercolor show I really want to get into, but maybe forcing myself in that direction is keeping me from finding the best means of expressing myself. And that really is my goal.
Preliminary layout for part of a future lap quilt
birthday gift, backed in cozy red flannel. 

For example, I'm working on a quilt for my nephew right now, and what I want to express is "I love you, you deserve a quilt of your own to keep you warm and cozy, and this is a happy quilt in your favorite color." A red painting just wouldn't have the same impact for a 12-year old. But I'm happy to say, the quilt is on its way to being perfect. And maybe I could still consider myself an artist, one who just happens to be working in fabric right now. Interesting.

Assignments:
- Select 10 favorite photos from the Moab trip and make them into notecards.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Spring"Flow" Show Features Three of My Paintings

In January I embarked on a new self-imposed oil painting project/collection, with the goal of down-selecting three paintings for Dreama Tolle Perry's spring Flow membership  art show. Picking a subject for a collection and staying focused was a challenge for me; my mind is usually racing around in a million artistic directions. I knew I wanted something static, that I could work on without it changing. Fake flowers as a still life were the perfect choice! They wouldn't wilt in the direct studio light, and I could make them do whatever I wanted. Still, I wanted it to be simple, so I refined my collection subject a step further.  From left to right: Rose-Bauer Duet (oil, 6"x8"), Voodoo (oil, 6"x8"), and Peace (oil, 6"x6"). I own a single beautiful silk rose, bought at a specialty store last year. If I had to guess, it's modeled on the Peace hybrid tea rose. So I decided all ten of my paintings for the collection would be based on this single r...
1 comment
Read more

Mean Critic Meets Scary Progress

I'm continuing to work on my value studies and bouncing all over the place, both with subject and with medium. I swear that one of these days I'll find my lane. There are things I like and dislike about oils, acrylic, and watercolor. There's not a perfect medium, but oils sure are easier for working on composition and value.  As the year is coming to an end, I'm wrapping some things up and getting ready to launch other things. I went through my last three years of paintings (about 150) and categorized them as keep for myself, make available for gifts or purchase, or repurpose (at first I had labeled them trash, but that just seemed so mean, and I really can use the paper for other things). With the gift/sell category, I created a PowerPoint file with all available paintings, categorized by subject. Each was labeled and priced...a scary declaration on my part that my creativity is valuable. In the coming year, I will use this file to create a new website for my growing a...
1 comment
Read more

Value Epiphany!

For the new year, I've decided that before I start a painting, I'll note the goals for that painting session and/or the finished product if I'm not painting alla prima (in one session). I've sort of informally been doing this for the last couple of months, but now I want to consciously follow these steps: 1) write down my goals, 2) paint, 3) acknowledge that the painting is crap ( see previous post ), 4) note how I did or did not meet my goals, and finally, 5) create a next steps list. Of course, these steps won't be executed until I've done the all-important value studies! Last October I painted a lesson from Dreama Tolle Perry's Flow class , a cute carafe of cream with a white ceramic basket of strawberries. The basket didn't read "white" in my painting, which I didn't like, and I wanted to figure out why...but I wanted to use my own still life to do it.  So I set up a scene informed by Dreama but all my own. My scene used my own props to...
Post a Comment
Read more